10. | Anima and animus define and control us - especially if we deny their existence
These two Jung’s archetypes help us better understand sex change urges and gender identity
If asked what our least researched area is, the answer would certainly be our inner cosmos. Using the terminology of the macrocosm, we can say that the human soul and spirit are like the dark matter of the universe. They form the biggest part of a person, but we know almost nothing about them, just like we don’t know what love is. Why does love give wings to one person, but makes another one blind – only poets can explain this.
If we approached the subject from the angle of Jung’s analytical psychology, it would be of no use to lovers, as love cannot be analysed – it’s not rational. However, knowing the different archetypes gives us a better understanding of the challenges of being a human and from here onwards, I will leave love to one side and only analyse the main patters of the human soul that concern gender.
Short definitions of anima and animus
Anima is a man’s concealed and unacknowledged feminine self-determination (identity). It’s the woman who is hidden in the subconscious of a man.
Animus is a woman’s concealed and unacknowledged masculine self-determination (identity). It’s the man who is hidden in the subconscious of a woman.
Unacknowledged means here that these gender archetypes exist in us, but we (most people) are not aware of them. We’re not in contact with a part of our sense of self (identity) in our subconscious.
I’m not entirely certain whether Jung’s anima and animus are archetypes of the collective consciousness or something more. It’s possible that they simply have traits that are similar to an archetype and we haven’t managed to delve deeper yet. I’m going to add a little explanation of how I see them for those who are not familiar with these terms yet.
Two urges that complement, and ideally also balance, each other are significant parts of the psychological structure of a human being. They are the urge that is aimed outwards, at innovation, and the urge that is aimed inwards, at self-preservation. In physics they are known as the centrifugal and centripetal forces. In psychology, we know them as masculinity and femininity.
In the case of humans, it’s important to notice three components – the body that is either male or female, the corresponding active psychological gender self-determination (a man feels like a man and a woman feels like a woman) and the opposing (pushed deeper into the subconscious in psychological terms) self-determination as the opposite sex (the ability to identify oneself with the opposite sex). In other words – the gender trinity of a human being consists of:
the physical body that has a specific gender;
the (usually corresponding) primary, i.e. active gender identification; and
the secondary, i.e. suppressed/concealed opposite gender identification (anima or animus).
In general, the psychological sexual identity that corresponds to a person’s sex is the dominant one. This means that boys and men behave in a somewhat more masculine way – they are interested in technology and ideas, and they tend to be adventurous. Girls and women, however, are more focused on the home, safety, emotions and human relationships.
Based on the above, we can say that the masculine identity of the men called ‘alpha males’ is almost fully activated. Their feminine identity, i.e. the anima, is almost fully inactive, it’s suppressed. The situation is the opposite in the case of very feminine women. We can also say that in this case, men have (almost) no contact with their feminine side, i.e. the anima, and women have (almost) no contact with the masculine side, i.e. the animus.
Usually, however, the masculine identity of men is only partially dominant over their feminine identity, which also allows the feminine identity to manifest itself. The ratio of masculinity to femininity could be 75:25 to 51:49. The opposite applies to women. We regard such people as ordinary, i.e. men and women with sufficiently clear psychological gender characteristics. They are ‘normal’ men and women, if we want to classify people like this.
However, it gets interesting when someone’s opposite gender identity has, for any reason, become more activated than the psychological identity that corresponds to their physical body. If the prevalence of the opposite gender identity is small, the person can usually remain in accordance with the identity that corresponds to their physical body as a result of cultural pressure and stick with the common gender roles in society. Small deviations are possible – a certain pull towards people of the same sex, but this does not make a person feel uncomfortable in their physical body and in the corresponding gender role.
However, if the psychological identity of the opposite sex has (conditionally) become activated to a ratio that exceeds 60:40, the sexual identity crisis (i.e. contradiction) will start expressing itself and interfering with the person’s life increasingly more. This can manifest itself in many ways, the best known of which are the desire to cross-dress, love directed at people of the same sex and the desire to have sex reassignment surgery.
Taking a step towards a deeper analysis, we can divide the problem in two. The first part of the problem is the ratio of activation of the complementing gender polarities, which in my opinion would be 60:40 in the ideal case. The second part of the problem is a person’s ability to establish a conscious contact with its ‘gender shadow’, i.e. the less active gender identity. In order to be psychologically complete, each man has to acknowledge and integrate the woman hidden inside them (feminine identity) and each woman has to do the same with their masculine identity.
Then, we could claim with some caution that solving these two ‘problems’ is a precondition for the establishment of a balanced and fulfilling relationship. In principle, it’s possible to change the situation with self-observation and external feedback. In history, this was known as alchemy, which was the medieval way of describing the processes occurring in the psyche. However, the confusion and the veil of secrecy that surround alchemy suggest that this wasn’t, and still isn’t, an easy task to solve.
The above also helps us understand the typical dramas in relationships. Masculine men are always attracted to feminine women, because what they see in feminine women are the aspects in which they cannot establish contact with their inner woman (anima). And it’s the opposite in the case of women. As both people in the relationship are internally imbalanced, such relationships tend to boil over in all other aspects as well after a hot honeymoon. Extreme gender polarities bring about strong, fluctuating emotions.
Domestic violence occurs mostly in relationships that are strongly based on gender polarisation. As a rule, the woman is the victim in this case and based on the above, her only solution is to establish contact with her inner man. This inner man can be the savior who changes the woman’s life (make her get out of the violent relationship), because the inner woman is focused primarily on keeping the status quo.
We can also say that couples in strongly polarised relationships are in ‘reflection’ relationships, which means that the woman is a symbol of the man’s anima for the man and the man symbolises the animus for the woman. Ideally, each of them should establish a harmonious relationship with their concealed gender identity. Relationship dramas are usually caused by the desire to change one’s partner, but reflection can be interpreted as the need to draw attention to an unacknowledged phenomenon in one’s subconscious.
However, if someone has overcome the gender gap inside them and established sufficient contact with the opposite gender identity, they are prepared to be in a complementary relationship, which is characterised by the attitude ‘tell me what you see in me and I will tell you what I see in you’. I’m obviously talking about the psychological limitations of a person, the ability to acknowledge them and to work with them. Such relationships are usually calm and enjoyable, as opposed to the roller coaster of a reflection relationship.
This approach allows us to say that there are two kinds of gender identity problems. The problems whereby a person’s gender identity corresponds to their body, but is imbalanced, are more common. The cases where the physical gender and the psychological gender identity are in conflict are somewhat less frequent, but create a stronger emotional and social response.
If we now ask what we should do with this understanding as a society, the first answer would be to accept people as they are. Everyone has the right to do what they think is right – we should let other people make their own decisions. If someone loves roller coasters, then roller coasters are a human right in this context. The same also applies to other adventures based on gender identity. We have to be adventurous (for as long as we can take it), as we can then decide whether we want to carry on as before or need something more.
This obviously raises some questions: if this is really the case, then what determines a person’s gender identity that they’re born with, why it is the way it is in each and every one of us? Is it a coincidence? If it is a coincidence, then what does coincidence mean in this case? And if it’s not a coincidence, then what determines this, why is a person not born as a tabula rasa?